Losing QB Blames Jesus for Supe Loss

 NEW ORLEANS, Louisiana (FNS) Forty-niners quarterback Collins Koppernickel pulled no punches in naming the individual responsible for his team’s loss to the Baltimore Ravens in Super Bowl XLVII. Placing blame squarely on the Savior, Koppernickel spoke at the post-game press conference. “I gave Jesus the credit for the successful season, for the victories in the post season. I always gave Him credit for a win. You know, ‘this was Jesus’ victory,’ and ‘the Lord was with us on this one,’ so I’m not going to mince words here. We were ready. We had a first and goal, down by 5. What would it have taken to help one little pass be completed? I mean, he’s God, for His sake. He could’ve. But He didn’t. All that credit I gave Him every time we won. Well, I’m pissed, and I’m saying so.” Reporters noted that a thunderstorm broke just as Koppernickel began speaking. “I’m not saying it’s connected,” said FNS sports reporter Randy Ball-Fahr, “but I wasn’t taking any chances. I stayed in the conference room until the rain stopped.”