Studies have shown that the below-listed phrases rarely, if ever, have the desired effect and, in fact, often exacerbate an already tense situation. See if your own experience does not agree.

1. Calm down.

2. Take it easy.

3. Don’t worry.

4. Just forget about it.

5. Take a deep breath.

6. Watch your mouth.

7. Shut up.

8. Don’t get your bowels in an uproar.

9. Let it go.

10. Grow up.

11. Settle Down

12. Get a grip.

     Here’s an experiment for you to try. The next time someone seems to be inappropriately agitated in your presence ask them to settle down. Did it work? The next time someone uses foul language in an angry rant, tell them, “Watch your mouth.” Will they stop cursing or curse more? According to surveys, each of the above-listed phrases actually have the opposite of the intended effect and cause people to do more of what you’re demanding or suggesting they do less of. And the next time a friend is in distress and obvious apprehension tell them, “Don’t worry.” Yeah, that should do the trick.