Monthly Archives: June 2013

Ten Phrases That Are Worse Than Useless

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     Studies have shown that the below-listed phrases rarely, if ever, have the desired effect and, in fact, often exacerbate an already tense situation. See if your own experience does not agree.

1. Calm down.

2. Take it easy.

3. Don’t worry.

4. Just forget about it.

5. Take a deep breath.

6. Watch your mouth.

7. Shut up.

8. Don’t get your bowels in an uproar.

9. Let it go.

10. Grow up.

11. Settle Down

12. Get a grip.

     Here’s an experiment for you to try. The next time someone seems to be inappropriately agitated in your presence ask them to settle down. Did it work? The next time someone uses foul language in an angry rant, tell them, “Watch your mouth.” Will they stop cursing or curse more? According to surveys, each of the above-listed phrases actually have the opposite of the intended effect and cause people to do more of what you’re demanding or suggesting they do less of. And the next time a friend is in distress and obvious apprehension tell them, “Don’t worry.” Yeah, that should do the trick.

June 22, 2013 Board of Directors Monthly Open Meeting

by Buz Whelan

After the usual pledge to the flag and acceptance of the previous meeting’s minutes (with the standard minor corrections) President Al Leslie gave his message. Prefacing his remarks with the call for a short meeting due to a scheduled party and his not feeling well, he admonished the community in general to eschew rumor-mongering and instead go directly to the source of the concern. He pointed out that the GM is readily available as are the various directors.

During an unusually brief Treasurer’s Report, Earl Frank pointed to an article in the Pocono Record that indicated approximately 66% of Pocono Mountain West High School students were receiving some form of public assistance. This would have some explanatory value, he said, in understanding why delinquencies are running so high.

General Manager Allen Roth informed the room that the deadline for the special July edition of the Emerald News is Tuesday, June 25th. This issue will have the candidate bios and campaign statements.

Deadlines come and go, and bog removal in East and West Emerald Lakes is a sure example of that. This issue has been tossed around for at least two years, maybe more, and today GM Roth informed us that the June 20th date for work initiation had been missed. Contacting Joe Gallagher of Ecological Solutions, the firm hired to do the removal, he was informed that it was preferable to wait until the bogs rose to the surface of the lake, since their appearance would ease removal. Last year the bogs appeared early, in late June, due to an unusually mild spring and early summer. But in 2011, a more typical year weatherwise, the bogs did not appear in East Emerald Lake until the third week in July and West Emerald Lake in early August. Adding to the confusion was the memory of some members that last year we were told that it was easier to remove the bogs before they surfaced.

The GM also reported that with the beaches open the hot dog wagon would be making appearances and the Snack Shack at the outdoor pool is open.

During Committee Reports, the recommended changes to the collection procedures were discussed, and a recommendation that the board begin preparing for a Special Meeting in late October or early November was made. The purpose of the meeting would be to ask for a dues increase. The manager’s recommendation of a three-year program with increases of $60, $50 & $40 respectively was noted in the recommendation.

Under Old Business the board approved a resolution for payment of the repairs to the outdoor pool, in the amount of $13,700. The 2012/2014 budget, recently passed, contains a line item of $20,000 for outdoor pool repair. This was an estimate, since the precise scope of work could not be known until the repairs were well underway. The board also passed a resolution accepting the Finance and Planning Committee’s recommended changes to the collection procedure. When a delinquency first occurs, a 10% penalty will be attached and the entire amount of the Annual Dues remaining shall immediately become due.

Under New Business, the board approved the selection of Mark Davis as chairperson of the newly re-formed Real Estate Committee. The chair had been elected at the committee’s first meeting and he reported that the committee is made up of short and long term landlords, renters and non-leasing homeowners.

The board accepted the ad hoc Committee to Revise the Bylaws’ recommendations for changes to be put to a vote at the Annual Meeting in August. Among those that bring the document into congruence with already existing practice are recommendations to require a complete audit every year (as opposed to current bylaw for every fifth year), to extend appeal and payment deadlines for citations from 10 to 30 days and to eliminate from the bylaws reference to the moribund Campground Committee. The committee also recommended formalizing the process for replacing a mid-year board vacancy by going to the next highest vote getter at the previous Annual Meeting, then going to the next highest after that if the first next (is this getting confusing?) is unavailable. When all losing candidates have been exhausted, or if there weren’t any, the board may choose a replacement who would serve until the next Annual Meeting when a vote could be held to fill out the term, or select another director if the term is expiring.

During a discussion of roadside mowing, it was reported that the mower was expected to be repaired by early next week and mowing would then continue. The board also directed the GM to research the cost of a new mower, including choices of manufacturer, models and vendors. Should a new mower be purchased, the current one would become a backup.

During Public Comments Paul Capozzoli suggested sealing cracks in our roadways. He said that his research shows that we can significantly extend the life of any given road segment by doing this. He reported that he had spoken with individuals involved in county road maintenance and this is something that they do and recommend.

Pat Galderisi brought up the problem of chickens running loose in sections of the Estates. Of course, our Declarations forbid the keeping of livestock. Phyllis Shedlock said that she had observed chickens on Sage Road. After much joking about chickens crossing the road and so on, it was agreed that the GM would have the Code Enforcement Officer Ralph Musto investigate.

Progress on Cabaret ’35, to be held August 10 was also reported. It was underscored that this is to be a total night club experience not just another singing performance. Audience members are encouraged to come in period dress (‘20s & ‘30s) and prizes will be given. Tickets ($10 advance, $12at the door) are currently being sold at the Community Center.

 

 

Terror Plot Thwarted

!tp_prank_09[1]     CHICAGO, Illinois (FNS) A plot to cause mayhem at Chicago’s Taul Towers has been foiled in a joint operation by the CIA, NSA and FBI along with local Chicago police. The buildings, named after the Bigg & Taul haberdashery empire, were to be egged by terrorists flying in one man ultralight aircraft, too small to show up on radar. Behind the disgusting and dastardly plot were Jordanian immigrant Ligma Jentuls, Chechnyan Pulya Pansdown and Ivana Eecha, reported to be Pansdown’s girlfriend.

In a connected action suspected terrorists Ahbin Pharteen of Yemen, Chet Mapantz, an American convert to Islam, and Indonesian extremist Lee Kee Anoos were arrested when their plan to tee pee all the cherry trees on the Washington Mall was sniffed out by the highly-respected anti-terrorist Special Agent Al Keiter of the FBI. Agents are after Lou Stoole who apparently left tracks when he fled and is expected to be apprehended soon.

If you have any info on the whereabouts of the above or known affiliates Soon Al Dooya, Juwana Phoogmi, Khana Cuminya or Rubma Baltz contact the anti-terrorist hot line at 1-800-BIG-TIPS. All calls will be handled confidentially by Special Agent Mike Hunt. Please do not tie up line with trivial calls. Mike Hunt only wants big tips.

Lake Shark Menace Resurfaces

Watch out for the Lake Shark!

Watch out for the Lake Shark!

EMERALD LAKES, Pennsylvania (FNS) In what is becoming an annual ritual, the Pennsylvania Department of Fish and Chips issued a reminder that the danger of lake sharks lurks just beneath the surface of seemingly tranquil lakes. Four of the five Emerald Lakes are in that category. Only Deer Lake has been declared shark free. Spokesperson Claire de Aire warned that, “People shouldn’t treat this as a joke. Lives can be lost that way. These fish are as real as angels, and you better have an angel guarding you if you venture into the water alone.” According to fish specialist Dr. Flo N. Rivers, some are in more danger than others. “Most full-time residents of Pennsylvania are safe. They have a natural shark repellant that they acquire from drinking water daily that comes from the local aquifer. It’s part-timers and visitors that face the greatest danger. They don’t have that natural protection and the sharks can smell them.” An adult shark of the genus Pennsylvanus lochus Rhincodon averages about 4 feet in length but can grow larger. The record is 8 feet taken from Lake Wallenpaupak in 1993. The local record was set last year when fisherman Henry William took a six-footer out of East Emerald Lake. They are most active during the day, especially on weekends. One thing to remember is that when swimming just beneath the surface, the shark’s body creates a smoothing effect on the water. Warns lifeguard Ike N. Saivem, “When the water is calm and smooth, that’s time to watch out. It’s probably a shark getting ready to strike.”

Your Nearly News Horoscope

Zodiac[1]Gemini (May 21-June 20) Something unexpected will happen just when you least expect it. Be prepared.

Cancer (June 21-July22) Be cautious in financial dealings.

Leo (July 23-August 22) You will find yourself among strangers. Act normal.

Virgo (August 23-September 22) This is a time of confusion in your life. Try and figure out why.

Libra (September 23-October 22) You will encounter a negative person. Be negative in return, but in a positive way.

Scorpio (October 23-November 21) Danger lurks in automobiles. Avoid cars for next 3 months.

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21) You know what you did and you’re likely to get caught. Deception is your best option.

Capricorn (December 22-January 19) You are a superstitious person. Avoid objects that may be cursed.

Aquarius (January 20-February 18) Beware of advice freely given. Mistrust everyone.

Pisces (February 19-March 20) You are a lazy person who spends way too much time looking for easy answers. Get a grip. Stop wasting time reading newspaper mumbo jumbo.

Aries (March 21-April 19) Don’t waste everybody’s time chasing unrealistic dreams. You cannot be anything you want. Get real. Stop bothering people.

Taurus (April 20-May 20) You are gullible and unimaginative, the kind of person who thinks they can get wisdom and prescience from a horoscope. Seek help forthwith.

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