EMERALD LAKES, Pennsylvania (FNS) People in this sleepy mountain village have named Patsy Fallguy as the right guy to fuck with. Says neighbor Barb Dwyer, “If there ever was a right guy to fuck with, Patsy is that man. He’s afraid of his own shadow. I’ve never even heard him raise his voice, ever. He is so timid.” Her brother Guy Dwyer agrees, adding, “He’s so weak, he can’t lift his spirits. Plus, he throws like a girl. A very young, unathletic girl.”  FNS tried to speak to Fallguy to get his take on all this, but was unable to reach him. Knocks on the door only produced an eyeball spotted between bent venetian blinds.