The New Face of American Diplomacy
WASHINGTON, District of Columbia (FNS) The success of several recent diplomatic trips by amateur diplomats has encouraged the Obama administration to take a fresh look at diplomatic appointments. The first of these was the wildly successful trip to North Korea by Dunceness Oddman, a former professional basketball player of some renown. Although the strangely adorned Oddman was unable to convince the impulsive leader Kim Jung Un to stand down his military, reduce his bluster or cease his quest for deliverable nuclear weapons, he successfully convinced the dear leader that Americans played the best basketball. This was considered to be no small admission from the diminutive athlete who scored nine holes-in-one on the occasion of his first round of golf.
The second round of neophyte representation was the Cuban mission of Lay Z and his wife Bouncey. While eschewing any political or economic initiatives, the pair was able to convince a large cross section of Cuban music lovers that mediocre American pop culture has some sort of value. The hope is that as Hip Hopism sweeps the island, the average Cuban citizen will come to love America and its people.
Buoyed by these successes, Vice President Joe Biden told assembled reporters that more ambassadorial duties are in the offing. “We are planning to send Jerry Seinfeld and Joan Rivers to Iraq. Our hope is that two Jewish comics are just what the Mullahs need to lighten up. There are also plans afoot to draft Omar Sharif as an envoy to Russia. A little bridge with Putin might just soften the old KGB hand. Hey, Sharif was Doctor Zhivago. You don’t get more Russian than that.”
There were also rumors that singer and Voice judge Nicky Mirage might get a crack at Venezuela. Now that Chavez is gone, there just might be an opening for a temperamental diva to work her magic on the new guy, if they ever settle that election thing.