Your Nearly News Horoscope

Zodiac[1]Gemini (May 21-June 20) Something unexpected will happen just when you least expect it. Be prepared.

Cancer (June 21-July22) Be cautious in financial dealings.

Leo (July 23-August 22) You will find yourself among strangers. Act normal.

Virgo (August 23-September 22) This is a time of confusion in your life. Try and figure out why.

Libra (September 23-October 22) You will encounter a negative person. Be negative in return, but in a positive way.

Scorpio (October 23-November 21) Danger lurks in automobiles. Avoid cars for next 3 months.

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21) You know what you did and you’re likely to get caught. Deception is your best option.

Capricorn (December 22-January 19) You are a superstitious person. Avoid objects that may be cursed.

Aquarius (January 20-February 18) Beware of advice freely given. Mistrust everyone.

Pisces (February 19-March 20) You are a lazy person who spends way too much time looking for easy answers. Get a grip. Stop wasting time reading newspaper mumbo jumbo.

Aries (March 21-April 19) Don’t waste everybody’s time chasing unrealistic dreams. You cannot be anything you want. Get real. Stop bothering people.

Taurus (April 20-May 20) You are gullible and unimaginative, the kind of person who thinks they can get wisdom and prescience from a horoscope. Seek help forthwith.


Posted on June 1, 2013, in Nearly News and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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