A recent survey revealed that only 8% of respondents report keeping a New Year’s resolution. Since this number is based on self-report you can bet the success rate is even less. Why is this? It’s simple: people make crappy resolutions, ones that are near impossible to keep. They’re doomed from the start. So, here’s our solution. Try one or more of these resolutions. Hell, try ‘em all. We bet you can keep them if you put your mind to it.
Ten Resolutions You Can Realistically Expect to Keep:
1. To gain weight
2. To take up or increase smoking
3. To go deeper into debt
4. To be more judgmental of people around me
5. To avoid exercise
6. To eat more salty, fatty foods
7. To drink more
8. To ignore ‘Friend’ requests
9. To settle scores and take revenge – to forgive no one
10. To unhesitatingly tell my friends what they must do to improve themselves
11. To break wind with total abandon
We love the holidays, and we love the way so many of you have decorated your lawns and homes for the season. So the Emerald Lakes Free Press is hosting the First Annual Emerald Lakes Holiday Decorating Contest. Yes, “holidays”. Don’t pout because we didn’t say Christmas, because we will accept entries for any holiday you choose for your theme. You can even get out your Easter decorations and put them up. As long as they are actually out and on your lawn and house on the closing date of the contest, which is December 22, 2012, it is eligible to win.
And there ARE prizes. We have a lovely gift basket, full of wine and good things to eat. We have a gift certificate from our friends at the Speakeasy Lounge. We have chocolate. You know you want this stuff!
To enter, all you have to do is send a picture of the (outdoor) decorations from this year, and send it, along with the physical address of the home, here in Emerald Lakes (we will be driving around the check!), and the name of the homeowner or resident who did the decorating to firstname.lastname@example.org. We will post these as soon as we get to them, and the voting opens immediately, so enter as soon as you can. You can enter your own home, or nominate a neighbor, it’s all up to you.
To vote for your favorite, all you have to do is post a comment telling us which one you like best. On December 23, 2012, Buz and I will count the comments and decide who the winners are, and will announce them right here, that night.
(Here’s the legal stuff, feel free to stop reading if you don’t care: We will do our best to count the votes. We will try to count each email address only once. If we get multiple votes from the same email address, we will only count the last one we receive. If it gets really complicated, we will just give up and pick our favorites. If there is a tie, we will flip a coin. C’mon, it’s Christmas and we don’t have time to get into complicated math.)
So, get in the spirit and get decorating. We can’t wait to see what you have done.
POCONO MOUNTAIN SENIORS
11:00 Arrival at The Inn
Complimentary Coffee, Tea & Homemade Sweet Breads
Beerwurst, Bloodwurst, Head Cheese, Hard Salami, Bologna, Liverwurst
Onions, Sliced Tomatoes, Cheese Chunks & Grape Bunches, Cucumber &
Onion Salad, Sliced Melon, Creamed & Plain Herring, Green & Black Olives,
Pickles, Fruited Jello Molds, Fruit Salad, Applesauce,Cole Slaw, Homemade
Grilled Bratwurst, Boiled Knockwurst on Rolls, Sauerbraten w/Gravy, Potato
Pancakes, Spaetzle, Red Cabbage, German Potato Salad, Sauerkraut, Honey
Sesame Roast Pork Tenderloin Carving Station
Warm Apple Strudel a la mode
1:30pm Boat Rides
2:15pm German Band & Dancing
12:00pm to 4:00pm Complimentary Beer & Wine
Total Cost Per Person $60.00
Deposite $25.00 Per Person Non Refundable
Deposite Due Sept 6 2012
Final Payment Oct 4 2012
Total Cost Includes Transportation & All Graturities
Contact Betty & Peter Stefura