Very Super Wings: The Beast
By Buz Whelan
I call this recipe the beast because the first time I made it some 24 years ago I used 6 tablespoons of butter, 6 tablespoons of hot sauce and 6 tablespoons of honey for the sauce. 666 is the sign of ‘the beast,’ the name for the devil during the middle ages. How many tablespoons of each you use depends on how many wings you’re making and how plump they are. This recipe is for 2 packages of Purdue Wingettes, my choice because they are plumper and meatier than most supermarket whole wings, and you don’t have that wasteful tip. If you do use whole wings, chop them into sections. Use the tips to make chicken stock, not in this recipe. I use Frank’s Hot Sauce because it doesn’t have the undertaste that I find in Tabasco. Use your favorite. Walmart’s Great Value would do fine.
2 packages Purdue Wingettes, 1 ½ lbs each
2 sticks lightly salted butter (1 cup)
1 C hot sauce
1 C honey, any variety (clover, apple blossom, etc)
Crisp the wing sections under your broiler being careful not to burn. About 5 minutes 3” from flame on each side should do, but monitor carefully because broilers vary greatly. Make sauce by melting butter in a saucepan and then adding hot sauce and honey. Bring slowly to a boil, stirring frequently. Place wings in disposable aluminum pan, cover with sauce. Bake covered in a low oven (250 degrees) for at least an hour or up to an hour and a half. Wings may be prepared a day ahead, refrigerated and reheated at the time of serving.
Taco Pizza: A Super Treat
By Buz Whelan
This recipe is more about assembling than cooking. It combines elements of foods that are favorites for game-watching, including tacos and nachos.
1 1/2 lbs ground beef
2 envelopes taco seasoning
Tomato sauce (according to seasoning directions)
½ to ¼ lb Monterey jack cheese, coarsely grated
15 oz can black olives, sliced
2 tomatoes, chopped to ½ chunks
1 medium onion, coarsely chopped
Package plain taco or tortilla chips
Hot salsa, to taste
Brown meat, drain off excess fat, add seasoning, tomato sauce and water according to package directions. Cover a 14” microwaveable platter with the chips. Top with the seasoned beef. Top beef with salsa according to what you can take. Place the sliced olives, chopped tomatoes and onion randomly all over the meat. Sprinkle the grated cheese to cover the assembled platter and place in the microwave until cheese is melted (alternately, you can place under oven broiler being careful not to burn). Use a pie server to make individual portions on smaller plates.
AUKWARDLAND, New Zealand (FNS) International restaurant chain “Hog Wild” has announced plans to expand to the United States. Currently operating over 350 “Sties” as the restaurants are called by ownership, the first to open in the U.S. will be in Belcher’s Flats, Alabama. Says founder and CEO Phil deBelli, “We are so very excited. Our menu was made for America. For instance, you got our Gut-Bustin’ Burger, a full pound of ground meat product on a potato pancake, topped with American, cheddar and Monterey jack cheese, four strips of thick slab bacon, battered, deep fried onion crispies and our special sauce – it’s like Thousand Island dressing on steroids – and all served on a sourdough bun. Is that a sandwich for America or what? Then we got our smoked, maple-glazed pork medallions with cracklins’ – that’s deep fried, crispy pork fat – plated with cheese-topped French fries and our giant, butter-rich cheddar biscuits. Yum, yum. Of course, we’ll have our signature Trough O’ Plenty, an all you can scarf out of our barbecue chopped meat combination, and all the garlic butter bread you can eat. Just slap on the bib, stick your face in and chow down ‘til your heart’s content. It’s a little sloppy, but folks love it.”
Director of Operations Lhoda Bloney added, “We’re all about health and safety. Every Hog Wild restaurant has an EMT bus and two trained attendants standing by at all times. They know CPR and all that stuff. We don’t want anybody getting too sick on us. Sometimes people get to overdoing it a little. We’re ready for that.”
According to a sample menu passed out at the press conference, desserts are ‘big’ at Hog Wild as well. Entries include the Pig Out Pie Plate that starts with deep dish apple pie topped with a generous scoop of ice cream, chopped walnuts and whipped cream. The “Go Hog Wild Banana Split” features three softball-sized scoops of ice cream on a bed of overripe bananas with chocolate, strawberry and pineapple sauces, whipped cream, chocolate sprinkles and a red and green maraschino cherry for toppers. It’s rated at a whopping 4,375 calories.
Restaurant critic Stu Potts just shakes his head. “This is simply a cholesterol distribution point. You can gain weight reading the menu. And there’s enough sodium in the entrees to raise the blood pressure of Peoria, Illinois by 50 points. I think all Hog Wild restaurants should be built next to infirmaries.”