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February 23, 2013 Open Board Meeting
by Buz Whelan
![News-Cartoon-1471285[1]](https://emeraldlakesfreepress.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/news-cartoon-147128511.jpg)
EMERALD LAKES, Pennsylvania (ELFP) The Emerald Lakes Association Board of Directors held their monthly open meeting on Saturday, February 23rd. As has characterized these meetings in recent months it was succinct and to the point, lacking the sturm und drang so prevalent in earlier efforts. From the remarks made by directors during discussion, it is apparent that the monthly workshops, with their lengthy debates, are having an effect on the open meetings.
According to Treasurer Earl Frank the association has collected $1.489 million to date, and he believes we are tracking to finish the fiscal year (April 30th) approximately 10% under budget. He remarked that, “Some people want to spend this money (the savings),” but cautioned that this is merely numbers on paper. Because we are also having some shortfall in dues collection, the savings will create a wash, not put extra money in the association accounts.
GM Allen Roth said that efforts were under way to renovate the indoor pool room with an eye to replacing some of the glass walling with more substantial materials in order to retain heat and cut down on fuel costs.
It was also reported, under old business, that plans to upgrade the compactor area are proceeding, with photo and other measurements taken in order for the engineer to create a Request for Proposal and take bids on paving much of the area. Also under old business the board passed a resolution confirming committee chairs, with one, the ad hoc Committee on Renewable Energy, having an acting chair, Mr. Joseph Olall. Mr. Olall is not accused of wrongdoing, but the board has resolved in a previous meeting that his election was effected at a meeting that did not meet Roberts Rules requirements for legitimacy (some members were not notified of the meeting). It was agreed that a new election for chair be held at the committee’s scheduled February 26th meeting. Later in the open meeting Director Joe Miller suggested that the committee be renamed to better describe its overall mission. He made a motion that was seconded and passed that the committee be named the ad hoc Energy Conservation Committee.
The board went on to pass a blanket resolution enumerating the main responsibilities of each committee. Among these are the Rules and Regulations Committee’s duty to eliminate redundancies and unenforceable regulations (two pet limit, perhaps?), the events committee was given a $1,500 budget and the task of preparing a 2013/2014 events calendar, and the Real Estate Committee shall be resurrected and shall form a subcommittee to examine ways to regulate rental properties. President Al Leslie said he hopes this subcommittee can be peopled with rental property neighbors, landlords and even – as non-voting contributors – renters themselves. This would be in an effort to include all sides of the question. The Maintenance Committee was tasked with creating a database for equipment, facilities and infrastructure to be used for quality control records and as a facility maintenance tool. They were also instructed to coordinate with the Finance and Planning Committee regarding spending.
The board also agreed to go forward with an ad hoc Committee Assistance Committee (sounds like the Department of Redundancy Department, no?) made up of previous board members to assist committees in understanding their relation to the board and the scope of their responsibilities in supporting it.
There were two resolutions involving the acquisition of properties. It was approved that Lot 2408 will be purchased from repository for the amount of $800 and the deed for Lot 1603 will be accepted by the association in consideration of $1,477.62 in outstanding dues and fees (they will be forgiven).
Appeals Chairperson Paul Capozzoli reported that his committee heard two appeals and upheld the citations in both, though one fine was reduced.
Related articles
- January 26, 2013 Open Board Meeting (emeraldlakesfreepress.com)
Aggressive Driving Class Offered
RED NECK, New Jersey (FNS) Fender University, New Jersey’s premier aggressive driving institution announced today that it will hold an extension class in Pennsylvania’s beautiful Pocono Mountains. The standard two week course, including both classroom and field work, will be compressed to 5 days. The cost is $250 per person, or $225 each for families of five or more. Located in New Jersey’s Pine Barrens, nicknamed the Appalachia of the Northeast, the school has graduated over 5,000 angry drivers. Fender President and Dean of Students Ben D. Dick boasts, “We are the best there is at what we do. More than 50% of all road rage incidents in New Jersey involve at least one FU graduate. You can’t argue with the numbers.” If you expect an easy, undemanding week of instruction, you don’t know Dick. Course work includes sign and signal recognition, variations on horn harassment, proper ways to use hand signals to express disdain or anger, tailgating techniques and rapid lane-changing. After 3 rigorous days of class work, students are paired with experienced instructors and taken to highways for hands-on roadwork. Bump-and-run tactics, intimidation through tailgating and near-miss sideswiping, lane jumping and best ways to cut off other drivers are emphasized and practiced until students are proficient in all types of aggressive driving.
For those who insist on the complete course conducted at the South Jersey campus, registration can be done on line at www.nutsodriving.com. The cost of the full deal is $500 per person and includes lunches and weeknight accommodation at a modestly-priced motel in the area. Also included is a tour of the area and visits to the known and suspected burial sites of some of New Jersey’s most admired men of respect. Extras not included in the tuition but available for separate purchase include fast food dinners, evening visitation by experienced and understanding professional companions and cable tv. Says recent graduate Allen Rench, “Anyone listening to Dick will know this: If you’re serious about aggressive driving, you have to say ‘FU.’”
Romance and Fine Dining at the Emerald Grill
Lola Lauri
I “heart” Creamy Tomato Basil Soup.
If you haven’t been to the Emerald Grill recently, you will be amazed at all the positive changes that have transformed it from a dreary room with mediocre food to a brightly-decorated, clean eatery with food to rival many local restaurants at prices that cannot be beat.
Central to these changes is the addition of Chef Todd Wilczewski. Charming and passionate about cooking, Chef Todd speaks eagerly of his hopes for our restaurant. “Not only are we making changes to the menu to attract more members,” he told me, “but I want to be a resource for everyone in the community. I plan to work with the cooking club to offer workshops and ideas. I want to give everyone a chance to learn about good cooking.”
Originally from Pennsylvania, Todd comes to us after many years in Atlanta, Georgia, where he received his degree in Culinary Arts. His food is featured on the cover of the textbook On Cooking: A Textbook of Culinary Fundamentals, and he worked as a chef in Atlanta before joining us here.
Having been the victim of several culinary disasters at the Emerald Grill in the past, we were reluctant to try another meal at the Community Center. Does anyone else remember the St. Patrick’s Day disaster with its shoe-leather corned beef and grainy, still-powdered instant mashed potatoes? Recollections of 25 minute waits for a simple drink, uninspired menus and unappealing buffets replete with overcooked vegetables and bland main dishes had driven us away. The dreary lighting, dark tablecloths, and overcrowded furniture, all placed to hide the disgusting, stained and ratty carpeting kept us from returning.
It was only the rave reviews on Facebook of patrons declaring their joy at the changes that convinced Bob and I to join the Whelans for a Valentine’s Day celebration at the Grill.
With low expectations and a determination to enjoy the company in spite of any possible problems, we arrived for the 6:15 seating. I looked around at the recently renovated and redecorated dining room. Brand new floors and lovely light-colored tablecloths brighten the room considerably. Curtains soften the view to the bar and the pool areas. Beautiful roses graced the tables and holiday decorations were placed on the walls. The lit fireplace lent its glow to the ambiance. Fewer tables meant that the room was comfortably full, but not crowded. Soft dinner music, provided by “Rob and Blue J”, added to the festive atmosphere. Already we could sense that this would be a large improvement on any of our prior experiences here.
New Emerald Grill Chef Todd Wilczewski.
Our waitress, the lovely Melissa, introduced herself and quickly delivered our drink orders. And then…the appetizers. Cajun crab cakes with a delicious sauce (What was that wonderful sauce, Chef Todd?) and a tomato basil crostini that was rich and tangy. It occurs to me how much details matter when we are dining out. The appetizers were delicious, but they were also plated so nicely that the experience was delightful even before the first bite. The red wine sauce on the beef was fragrant and rich, and the raspberry sauce on the cheesecake was, when combined with the white chocolate chips, a superb feast for both the eyes and the appetite. The strawberries on the chocolate mousse were fresh and juicy and sliced just to the stem, so they looked beautiful and provided a small slice for each bite of chocolate.
One thing the Emerald Grill offers that is simply not possible in a commercial restaurant is the sense of community. Throughout dinner, we visited and were visited by our neighbors, (though we did not see a single board member this evening!) and we chatted about the meal and the neighborhood. Manager Ryan Culverson and his staff kept everything running smoothly in the background as we enjoyed one another’s company. With all the pieces in place, the center really can function as the heart of ELA. At the end of the evening, Chef Todd stepped out of the kitchen to greet us all. He accepted compliments gracefully and chatted about his plans for improving the kitchen even more.
As we bundled up and headed out into the snow, I looked back at the room and smiled. The Emerald Grill is finally ready for business.
How to Find a Lost Pet
Lola Lauri
When your pet goes missing, it is important to move fast to increase the chances of having it returned to your family safely. Camp![a_lost_dog_standing_behind_a_box_wanting_to_be_found_royalty_free_080711-221551-579037[1]](https://emeraldlakesfreepress.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/a_lost_dog_standing_behind_a_box_wanting_to_be_found_royalty_free_080711-221551-5790371.jpg)
KCS, on Long Pond road, has a program they call “Rescue Rover” (click Here to learn more). When you enroll your pet in this program, they keep records, notify local veterinarians and shelters, supply flyers, publicity and identification tags, to help in the search. Facebook has helped reunite so many of our neighbors with their furry friends, but this program may be even more effective and organized then you are able to be in such a stressful situation.
Camp KCS also provides boarding and other services, and I have found them to be a wonderful resource for pet care.
For more information on finding your pet, click on the links below:
http://www.petfinder.com/dogs/lost-and-found-dogs/find-lost-dog/
Losing QB Blames Jesus for Supe Loss
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NEW ORLEANS, Louisiana (FNS) Forty-niners quarterback Collins Koppernickel pulled no punches in naming the individual responsible for his team’s loss to the Baltimore Ravens in Super Bowl XLVII. Placing blame squarely on the Savior, Koppernickel spoke at the post-game press conference. “I gave Jesus the credit for the successful season, for the victories in the post season. I always gave Him credit for a win. You know, ‘this was Jesus’ victory,’ and ‘the Lord was with us on this one,’ so I’m not going to mince words here. We were ready. We had a first and goal, down by 5. What would it have taken to help one little pass be completed? I mean, he’s God, for His sake. He could’ve. But He didn’t. All that credit I gave Him every time we won. Well, I’m pissed, and I’m saying so.” Reporters noted that a thunderstorm broke just as Koppernickel began speaking. “I’m not saying it’s connected,” said FNS sports reporter Randy Ball-Fahr, “but I wasn’t taking any chances. I stayed in the conference room until the rain stopped.”
Change at the Woodfield Manor
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By Buz Whelan
SWIFTWATER, Pennsylvania (ELFP) This isn’t a review of the Woodfield Manor Chophouse so much as a report of an experience my wife and I had with a restaurant that has been a favorite of ours for the last five years or so. It was a little strange, a little different, but a lot of fun.
Kathy was on vacation this particular Friday, and we decided to go out for dinner. To break the tie we both felt between the Blakeslee Inn and the Woodfield Manor, I went online to look over their respective menus, both to refresh my memory on the standard menus and to see if there were any specials that would tip the balance. I was startled by the Manor’s menu. It was unfamiliar, lacking the usual exotic game dishes, but also lacking my favorite, the Duck L’Orange. There was also the appearance of the name Frogtown Inn and Six Acres, another fine restaurant, but what was it doing here? In an effort to clear this up I called the listed number.
A gentleman named Casey answered the phone, and in answer to my query explained that the Frogtown Inn and Six Acres had taken over the kitchen. The menu reflected the no-nonsense entries of a true chop house I was told, and the prices were a little more affordable. I told him I was more interested in fine dining than low prices, and by the way, where was my duck? He said the transition was new and they would be making adjustments. They would have game nights, and if I really wanted duck he would get me duck. But could he make it like the previous chef? He said he was the sous chef, that he had worked for years alongside the previous chef, and he was confident he could make me happy. “I can have your duck next weekend, if you like,” he promised. I checked with Kathy and made the reservation for the following Friday. And as the week wore on, I had some trepidation about whether or not I made the right decision.
On the next Friday I called at 3:30pm – the restaurant opens at 5 – and asked for Casey. I was told he wasn’t in yet, but was there something my respondent could do for me. I told him about the reservation and the duck and asked if he knew whether Casey had followed through. He answered, “He did the next best thing. He told me about it. My name is Lyman and I’m the chef. I have your duck. And Casey made a sauce of orange and hoisin. I think you’ll enjoy it very much.”
We arrive at the restaurant and identify ourselves to the hostess. It was like the whole restaurant had been waiting for us. The bartender heard our name and called out a big, welcome hello. Our server knew what our entrée would be. There was warm bread and dipping oil in seconds, and after salad and some extra dry Stoli martinis, straight up and ice cold, out came the duck, mine with wild rice and grilled asparagus, Kathy’s with roast garlic mashed potatoes and creamed spinach. And everything was delicious. The generous half duckling was glazed with a fabulous sweet-tangy orange sauce, the skin crispy, the flesh moist and tender. My grilled asparagus was crunchy but tender, the wild rice seasoned perfectly. Kathy had a similar reaction to her meal.
At different times during the meal both Chef Lyman and Casey the sous chef, came to our table to inquire about our reaction to the meal and to thank us for making the suggestion. They told us that when ordering our duck they made it part of an order of two dozen, and that the half-ducklings were quite popular and selling well. They were considering making them a regular part of the menu.
I don’t expect that the Woodfield Manor or any restaurant can make special meals for us or anyone else every time we visit. But it was nice that they were so very responsive on this occasion, and it made us want to return. Who doesn’t like being treated so specially?
Watching Liberal TV Leads to Heroin Addiction: Study Results
LOCAL TIME, Kentucky (FNS) A study published in the Right Way, a conservative journal, purports to prove that![TV04_tnb[1]](https://emeraldlakesfreepress.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/tv04_tnb1.png)
watching liberal tv shows such as those on MSNBC will often lead to heroin addiction. Sponsored by the ultra-conservative Heritage Foundation, the researchers quizzed over 6,000 heroin addicts in prisons and back alleys alike, and found that almost all of them admitted to watching Morning Joe, Hardball or Rachel Maddow at least once or twice before turning to heroin. “You can’t argue with the numbers. Watching these programs will lead to the damnation of addiction. These poor unfortunates should have been watching FOX,” said Heritage spokesman Wright Wingnut. The study was based on the methodology of the now-discredited LaGuardia Report, done in the 1930s. In that study, thousands of heroin addicts, most of them incarcerated, were questioned on their use of marijuana prior to their introduction to heroin. More than 90% reported that they had tried marijuana before ever getting their first taste of heroin. This led researchers to conclude that marijuana use was a precursor to heroin addiction and they further concluded that there was causality at work. For decades thereafter, marijuana was labeled a ‘gateway drug,’ one that almost inevitably led to experimentation, often addiction, to more dangerous substances. Perhaps now, if Mr. Wingnut has his way, liberal television programs will be seen as a ‘gateway activity,’ as with marijuana, inevitably leading to a downward spiral and the utter ruin of the individual.
January 26, 2013 Open Board Meeting
![News-Cartoon-1471285[1]](https://emeraldlakesfreepress.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/news-cartoon-14712851.jpg)
By Buz Whelan
EMERALD LAKES, Pennsylvania (ELFP) The Emerald Lakes Board of Directors today held its January open meeting. President Alex Leslie called the meeting to order at 9:35 with Vice President Millie Bishop, Treasurer Earl Frank, and Directors Margaret Fitzgerald and Daniel Glasgow present. Also present were General Manager Allen Roth and Recording Secretary Roxanne Chumacha. Director Joe Miller was able to attend due to suffering flu-like symptoms. Board Secretary Carmen Broadnax joined the assembly about 10 minutes in.
President Leslie spoke on the need to assist committees in carrying out their mission and especially to help new committee members, of which there are presently quite a few, in understanding what their roles are and how they can operate most effectively. He suggested that an ad hoc committee might be formed by previous board members, with orientation sessions conducted with the previously stated aims in mind.
Among the highlights of the meeting was a resolution to restrict drinking in the game room to adults of legal age. This would bring Emerald Lakes into harmony with state alcohol regulations that pretty much restrict drinking anywhere to adults of legal age. The vote was 3 for, 1 against and 1 abstention.
The most contentious agenda item concerned the ad hoc Renewable Energy ![renewable-energy-illustration-1c2863c[1]](https://emeraldlakesfreepress.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/renewable-energy-illustration-1c2863c1.jpg)
Committee. The president pointed out that the initial meeting by the committee was not conducted by normal procedures in that all interested members, those that had formally expressed a desire to join the committee, were not notified of the meeting and therefore the election of a chairperson and secretary should not be considered valid. Both Ms. Bishop and Ms. Broadnax opined that the deed was done, mistakes were made in the past, so why not one more? Neither saw any great importance in the failure to advise all concerned parties of the meeting. Ms. Fitzgerald stated that she was upset by the hostility she sees in various committee meetings and was apparently distressed at this example of a cavalier attitude toward our committee rules and bylaws. Ms. Broadnax countered that the committee had done some fine work, so it was a waste of time to start over. Then Daniel Glasgow had his turn. Mr. Glasgow thanked the committee for their good work, expressed his pleasure that they were moving forward. Then came the ‘but.’ He went on to say that all that was really beside the point. We must have procedures that are followed, no one should be allowed to treat committees as their own, going their own way and doing whatever was convenient. If the board were to be respected, it must follow its own rules. After much back and forth by both directors and members in attendance the board decided that, indeed, the initial election of a chair and secretary was not in accord with established procedure and that a meeting should be called, all concerned properly notified and a chair and secretary selected at that meeting. During this discussion, member David Pope strongly suggested that a procedure for starting and running ad hoc committees be made both detailed and explicit so that we do not find ourselves having this same argument over and over.
Perhaps to li
ghten the mood in the room, the president turned to the agendum regarding the resurfacing of the compactor/recycling area. The board followed by authorizing a study by the Fred Spot Engineering Firm to study the best method and cost for resurfacing the area. This was greeted by enthusiastic applause from the gallery.
The other important matter considered was a schedule for the production, analysis, discussion, review by membership and final approval of the 2013/2014 budget. The GM said he will present the initial budget to the Finance and Planning Committee at a special meeting convened for that purpose on Saturday, March 2nd. The committee will consider and discuss the budget, make their suggestions and be prepared for a March 16th joint meeting with the Emerald Lakes Board of Directors. Out of that meeting should come a form of the budget approved for comment by the membership. The board can formally approve this at their March 23rd open meeting, giving the membership until the April 27th open meeting to voice their comments. The board will then vote to give final approval to the budget at that April meeting, having it in place for the May 1st beginning of the new fiscal year as required by law.
Man Reads ‘Terms and Conditions’
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TRUCK STOP, Indiana (FNS) A local man here claims to have read all the AOL terms and conditions prior to registering an email address. Mort D’Artur told a reporter from the Truck Stop Weakly, “It says you have to read the whole thing. It says at the end “I have read the terms and conditions and agree to comply with them.’ So, how could I check the box if I didn’t read them?” Mr. D’Artur also says that he read all five pages of the Itunes terms and conditions. “It took me a couple of hours, ‘cause I really didn’t understand some of the stuff the first time I read it. But they don’t want you to buy songs until you read all that. I’m pretty sure.” According to D’Artur, not reading the terms and conditions would be like telling your parents you studied when you really didn’t. What kind of person would do that?”
News Briefs for January 18, 2013
New Trump Bombshell: Obama Not Earthling
NEW YORK, New York (FNS) At a hastily called news conference in the Trump Tower media room a visibly agitated Donald Trump promised assembled reporters, “This is huge. This is absolutely tremendous. It’s very, very big. I have new information on President Obama’s real birth location. Absolute, irrefutable proof that he is not American and was not born in Hawaii. I have a witness that will prove this beyond any doubt. Here she is. I’ll let her tell you what she told me. Tell them, dear, tell them what you told me.”
At this point an incredibly thin woman, about 5’9”, with pale skin, tangled brown hair and bad teeth stepped up to the podium. She appeared nervous. “Well, this here is what I know. I was living in Chicago in 1998, and I wasn’t doing so well so I went to this mission place where I could get some food. There was this big room set up like a church, sort of, with a lot of chairs and a reverend who introduced this nice looking black fella. Turned out to be Barack Obama. Called hisself Barry Obama then. He talked to us real good about how we could get jobs and make things better. He was real nice. Then he said something about being born on a Thursday in Hawaii. I guess ‘cause it was Thursday that day, it reminded him. Anyways that’s what I think he said, but I was way in the back. But Mr. Trump says that’s real important. So, that’s about it.”
Trump returned to the podium at this point, elbowing the woman aside. ‘You heard it,” he trumpeted. “From the witness herself. Thursday she said. But August 4, 1961, Obama’s published birthday, was a Tuesday in Honolulu. So, he couldn’t have been born there. Where was it Thursday? I checked with an astronomer, an educated expert and professor at a community college, and he told me that the only place August 4, 1961 was a Thursday was on Mars. Period. Now we know. Obama was not even born on this planet. He’ll have to resign now.” The Donald then spent the last ½ of the conference touting the new season of “Celebrity Apprentice,” which he promises will be the “most tremendous, fantastic, exciting and important ‘Apprentice’ ever. This is going to be huge.”
Web Surfer Complains: You Can’t Google Google
BOURBON CREEK, Kentucky (FNS) Web surfer Peter Owt is annoyed because he has been unable to Google the search engine ‘Google.’ “All I get,” whines Owt, “is the search page and icon blinking “what are you looking for?” at me. “I’m looking for information about Google, that’s what I’m looking for. It’s frustrating. What are they trying to hide?” The angry seeker says this isn’t the first time something like this has happened to him. “A while ago I tried to friend ‘Facebook.’ All I got was stuff about how many friends I could connect with. Advertising stuff, know what I mean? Seems a little ironic, doesn’t it? I mean, you can’t friend ‘Facebook.’ You can only friend other people and organizations. What’s so special about ‘Facebook’ they can’t be friended?” Owt said it reminded him of when he tried to throw away a trash can years ago. “I put out this old dented metal can, empty, along with some brand new filled plastic cans. They left it. So, I put a sign on it that said ‘trash.’ Didn’t work. Changed the sign to ‘this can is trash.’ Still didn’t work. Even when I made the sign say, “This is trash, please take it,” they ignored the can. Eventually I gave up and put a sign on it that said, ‘This can is for sale. Inquire within for price.’ It was gone the next day.”
NRA Offers Compromise to White House
SPENT ROUND, Texas (FNS) NRA spokesman Wayne LaPierre says he is ready to bend over for Obama. “We’re going to make an unprecedented concession,” the blustery gasbag said. “We are proposing that anyone involved in a mass killing, anyone at all who kills children and even adults, should not be allowed by law to own an assault rifle in the future. I think it’s obvious now who it is that wants to save our kids.”
Cable Network F/X Announces Brand New Show
FILTHY RICH HILLS, California (FNS) In keeping with the entertainment industry’s most powerful dictum (“if it works, drive it into the ground”) cable broadcaster F/X Network today announce a new series promising to break absolutely no new ground whatsoever. The series, titled “Lincoln Unchained at the Homeland Abby,” will star David Spade, Gary Coleman, Betty White and Kirstie Alley. The producers also promise gobs of guest stars and cameos from ‘80s and ‘90s shows, as well as movie actors you recognize but can’t name. No further details were available.
Emerald Lakes Free Press 