![header[1]](https://emeraldlakesfreepress.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/header1.jpg)
By Buz Whelan
SWIFTWATER, Pennsylvania (ELFP) This isn’t a review of the Woodfield Manor Chophouse so much as a report of an experience my wife and I had with a restaurant that has been a favorite of ours for the last five years or so. It was a little strange, a little different, but a lot of fun.
Kathy was on vacation this particular Friday, and we decided to go out for dinner. To break the tie we both felt between the Blakeslee Inn and the Woodfield Manor, I went online to look over their respective menus, both to refresh my memory on the standard menus and to see if there were any specials that would tip the balance. I was startled by the Manor’s menu. It was unfamiliar, lacking the usual exotic game dishes, but also lacking my favorite, the Duck L’Orange. There was also the appearance of the name Frogtown Inn and Six Acres, another fine restaurant, but what was it doing here? In an effort to clear this up I called the listed number.
A gentleman named Casey answered the phone, and in answer to my query explained that the Frogtown Inn and Six Acres had taken over the kitchen. The menu reflected the no-nonsense entries of a true chop house I was told, and the prices were a little more affordable. I told him I was more interested in fine dining than low prices, and by the way, where was my duck? He said the transition was new and they would be making adjustments. They would have game nights, and if I really wanted duck he would get me duck. But could he make it like the previous chef? He said he was the sous chef, that he had worked for years alongside the previous chef, and he was confident he could make me happy. “I can have your duck next weekend, if you like,” he promised. I checked with Kathy and made the reservation for the following Friday. And as the week wore on, I had some trepidation about whether or not I made the right decision.
On the next Friday I called at 3:30pm – the restaurant opens at 5 – and asked for Casey. I was told he wasn’t in yet, but was there something my respondent could do for me. I told him about the reservation and the duck and asked if he knew whether Casey had followed through. He answered, “He did the next best thing. He told me about it. My name is Lyman and I’m the chef. I have your duck. And Casey made a sauce of orange and hoisin. I think you’ll enjoy it very much.”
We arrive at the restaurant and identify ourselves to the hostess. It was like the whole restaurant had been waiting for us. The bartender heard our name and called out a big, welcome hello. Our server knew what our entrée would be. There was warm bread and dipping oil in seconds, and after salad and some extra dry Stoli martinis, straight up and ice cold, out came the duck, mine with wild rice and grilled asparagus, Kathy’s with roast garlic mashed potatoes and creamed spinach. And everything was delicious. The generous half duckling was glazed with a fabulous sweet-tangy orange sauce, the skin crispy, the flesh moist and tender. My grilled asparagus was crunchy but tender, the wild rice seasoned perfectly. Kathy had a similar reaction to her meal.
At different times during the meal both Chef Lyman and Casey the sous chef, came to our table to inquire about our reaction to the meal and to thank us for making the suggestion. They told us that when ordering our duck they made it part of an order of two dozen, and that the half-ducklings were quite popular and selling well. They were considering making them a regular part of the menu.
I don’t expect that the Woodfield Manor or any restaurant can make special meals for us or anyone else every time we visit. But it was nice that they were so very responsive on this occasion, and it made us want to return. Who doesn’t like being treated so specially?
LOCAL TIME, Kentucky (FNS) A study published in the Right Way, a conservative journal, purports to prove that![TV04_tnb[1]](https://emeraldlakesfreepress.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/tv04_tnb1.png)
watching liberal tv shows such as those on MSNBC will often lead to heroin addiction. Sponsored by the ultra-conservative Heritage Foundation, the researchers quizzed over 6,000 heroin addicts in prisons and back alleys alike, and found that almost all of them admitted to watching Morning Joe, Hardball or Rachel Maddow at least once or twice before turning to heroin. “You can’t argue with the numbers. Watching these programs will lead to the damnation of addiction. These poor unfortunates should have been watching FOX,” said Heritage spokesman Wright Wingnut. The study was based on the methodology of the now-discredited LaGuardia Report, done in the 1930s. In that study, thousands of heroin addicts, most of them incarcerated, were questioned on their use of marijuana prior to their introduction to heroin. More than 90% reported that they had tried marijuana before ever getting their first taste of heroin. This led researchers to conclude that marijuana use was a precursor to heroin addiction and they further concluded that there was causality at work. For decades thereafter, marijuana was labeled a ‘gateway drug,’ one that almost inevitably led to experimentation, often addiction, to more dangerous substances. Perhaps now, if Mr. Wingnut has his way, liberal television programs will be seen as a ‘gateway activity,’ as with marijuana, inevitably leading to a downward spiral and the utter ruin of the individual.
![News-Cartoon-1471285[1]](https://emeraldlakesfreepress.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/news-cartoon-14712851.jpg)
By Buz Whelan
EMERALD LAKES, Pennsylvania (ELFP) The Emerald Lakes Board of Directors today held its January open meeting. President Alex Leslie called the meeting to order at 9:35 with Vice President Millie Bishop, Treasurer Earl Frank, and Directors Margaret Fitzgerald and Daniel Glasgow present. Also present were General Manager Allen Roth and Recording Secretary Roxanne Chumacha. Director Joe Miller was able to attend due to suffering flu-like symptoms. Board Secretary Carmen Broadnax joined the assembly about 10 minutes in.
President Leslie spoke on the need to assist committees in carrying out their mission and especially to help new committee members, of which there are presently quite a few, in understanding what their roles are and how they can operate most effectively. He suggested that an ad hoc committee might be formed by previous board members, with orientation sessions conducted with the previously stated aims in mind.
Among the highlights of the meeting was a resolution to restrict drinking in the game room to adults of legal age. This would bring Emerald Lakes into harmony with state alcohol regulations that pretty much restrict drinking anywhere to adults of legal age. The vote was 3 for, 1 against and 1 abstention.
The most contentious agenda item concerned the ad hoc Renewable Energy ![renewable-energy-illustration-1c2863c[1]](https://emeraldlakesfreepress.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/renewable-energy-illustration-1c2863c1.jpg)
Committee. The president pointed out that the initial meeting by the committee was not conducted by normal procedures in that all interested members, those that had formally expressed a desire to join the committee, were not notified of the meeting and therefore the election of a chairperson and secretary should not be considered valid. Both Ms. Bishop and Ms. Broadnax opined that the deed was done, mistakes were made in the past, so why not one more? Neither saw any great importance in the failure to advise all concerned parties of the meeting. Ms. Fitzgerald stated that she was upset by the hostility she sees in various committee meetings and was apparently distressed at this example of a cavalier attitude toward our committee rules and bylaws. Ms. Broadnax countered that the committee had done some fine work, so it was a waste of time to start over. Then Daniel Glasgow had his turn. Mr. Glasgow thanked the committee for their good work, expressed his pleasure that they were moving forward. Then came the ‘but.’ He went on to say that all that was really beside the point. We must have procedures that are followed, no one should be allowed to treat committees as their own, going their own way and doing whatever was convenient. If the board were to be respected, it must follow its own rules. After much back and forth by both directors and members in attendance the board decided that, indeed, the initial election of a chair and secretary was not in accord with established procedure and that a meeting should be called, all concerned properly notified and a chair and secretary selected at that meeting. During this discussion, member David Pope strongly suggested that a procedure for starting and running ad hoc committees be made both detailed and explicit so that we do not find ourselves having this same argument over and over.
Perhaps to li
ghten the mood in the room, the president turned to the agendum regarding the resurfacing of the compactor/recycling area. The board followed by authorizing a study by the Fred Spot Engineering Firm to study the best method and cost for resurfacing the area. This was greeted by enthusiastic applause from the gallery.
The other important matter considered was a schedule for the production, analysis, discussion, review by membership and final approval of the 2013/2014 budget. The GM said he will present the initial budget to the Finance and Planning Committee at a special meeting convened for that purpose on Saturday, March 2nd. The committee will consider and discuss the budget, make their suggestions and be prepared for a March 16th joint meeting with the Emerald Lakes Board of Directors. Out of that meeting should come a form of the budget approved for comment by the membership. The board can formally approve this at their March 23rd open meeting, giving the membership until the April 27th open meeting to voice their comments. The board will then vote to give final approval to the budget at that April meeting, having it in place for the May 1st beginning of the new fiscal year as required by law.
New Trump Bombshell: Obama Not Earthling
NEW YORK, New York (FNS) At a hastily called news conference in the Trump Tower media room a visibly agitated Donald Trump promised assembled reporters, “This is huge. This is absolutely tremendous. It’s very, very big. I have new information on President Obama’s real birth location. Absolute, irrefutable proof that he is not American and was not born in Hawaii. I have a witness that will prove this beyond any doubt. Here she is. I’ll let her tell you what she told me. Tell them, dear, tell them what you told me.”
At this point an incredibly thin woman, about 5’9”, with pale skin, tangled brown hair and bad teeth stepped up to the podium. She appeared nervous. “Well, this here is what I know. I was living in Chicago in 1998, and I wasn’t doing so well so I went to this mission place where I could get some food. There was this big room set up like a church, sort of, with a lot of chairs and a reverend who introduced this nice looking black fella. Turned out to be Barack Obama. Called hisself Barry Obama then. He talked to us real good about how we could get jobs and make things better. He was real nice. Then he said something about being born on a Thursday in Hawaii. I guess ‘cause it was Thursday that day, it reminded him. Anyways that’s what I think he said, but I was way in the back. But Mr. Trump says that’s real important. So, that’s about it.”
Trump returned to the podium at this point, elbowing the woman aside. ‘You heard it,” he trumpeted. “From the witness herself. Thursday she said. But August 4, 1961, Obama’s published birthday, was a Tuesday in Honolulu. So, he couldn’t have been born there. Where was it Thursday? I checked with an astronomer, an educated expert and professor at a community college, and he told me that the only place August 4, 1961 was a Thursday was on Mars. Period. Now we know. Obama was not even born on this planet. He’ll have to resign now.” The Donald then spent the last ½ of the conference touting the new season of “Celebrity Apprentice,” which he promises will be the “most tremendous, fantastic, exciting and important ‘Apprentice’ ever. This is going to be huge.”
Web Surfer Complains: You Can’t Google Google
BOURBON CREEK, Kentucky (FNS) Web surfer Peter Owt is annoyed because he has been unable to Google the search engine ‘Google.’ “All I get,” whines Owt, “is the search page and icon blinking “what are you looking for?” at me. “I’m looking for information about Google, that’s what I’m looking for. It’s frustrating. What are they trying to hide?” The angry seeker says this isn’t the first time something like this has happened to him. “A while ago I tried to friend ‘Facebook.’ All I got was stuff about how many friends I could connect with. Advertising stuff, know what I mean? Seems a little ironic, doesn’t it? I mean, you can’t friend ‘Facebook.’ You can only friend other people and organizations. What’s so special about ‘Facebook’ they can’t be friended?” Owt said it reminded him of when he tried to throw away a trash can years ago. “I put out this old dented metal can, empty, along with some brand new filled plastic cans. They left it. So, I put a sign on it that said ‘trash.’ Didn’t work. Changed the sign to ‘this can is trash.’ Still didn’t work. Even when I made the sign say, “This is trash, please take it,” they ignored the can. Eventually I gave up and put a sign on it that said, ‘This can is for sale. Inquire within for price.’ It was gone the next day.”
NRA Offers Compromise to White House
SPENT ROUND, Texas (FNS) NRA spokesman Wayne LaPierre says he is ready to bend over for Obama. “We’re going to make an unprecedented concession,” the blustery gasbag said. “We are proposing that anyone involved in a mass killing, anyone at all who kills children and even adults, should not be allowed by law to own an assault rifle in the future. I think it’s obvious now who it is that wants to save our kids.”
Cable Network F/X Announces Brand New Show
FILTHY RICH HILLS, California (FNS) In keeping with the entertainment industry’s most powerful dictum (“if it works, drive it into the ground”) cable broadcaster F/X Network today announce a new series promising to break absolutely no new ground whatsoever. The series, titled “Lincoln Unchained at the Homeland Abby,” will star David Spade, Gary Coleman, Betty White and Kirstie Alley. The producers also promise gobs of guest stars and cameos from ‘80s and ‘90s shows, as well as movie actors you recognize but can’t name. No further details were available.
Crispy on the outside, and the lemon sauce is amazing!
New Orleans Bread Pudding with Lemon Sauce and Chantilly Cream
By Buz Whelan
Bread Pudding:
Ingredients:
3 large eggs
1 ¼ C sugar
2t pure vanilla extract
1 ½ t nutmeg
1 ½ t ground cinnamon
¼ C butter, melted
2 C whole milk
1 C chopped pecans, dry roasted
5 C very stale French or Italian bread cubes, including crusts
In a large bowl beat eggs at high speed until frothy and bubbles are pinhead-sized. Add next 5 ingredients and beat until combined. Beat in milk, then add pecans. This mixture may seem too sweet but the bland bread will balance it out.
Put bread cubes in greased loaf pan, add egg/milk mixture and toss until well blended. Let sit about 45 minutes as bread soaks up mixture, tamping down lightly with your fingers periodically. Place in 350 degree oven, immediately lower to 300 and bake 40 minutes. Raise temp to 425 and bake until well-browned and puffy, about 15 to 20 minutes more. Remove and cool on wire rack. To serve, remove pudding from pan, slice 1” piece, top with 2 T warm Lemon Sauce and a scoop of Chantilly Cream.
Lemon Sauce
Ingredients:
2 Lemons, halved
1C water
½ C sugar
2 t pure vanilla extract
4 t cornstarch dissolved in ½ C water
Squeeze lemons into 2 quart saucepan straining out pits. Add the water and sugar and drop in the lemon halves. Bring to a boil. Stir in the cornstarch mixture and the vanilla. Cook about 1 minute, stirring constantly. Transfer to pouring bowl or small pitcher, squeezing and straining out the lemon halves.
Chantilly Cream
Ingredients:
1 1/3 C heavy cream
2 t pure vanilla extract
2 t brandy
2 t Grand Marnier
½ C sugar
¼ C sour cream
Chill a large bowl and beaters. Beat the cream, vanilla, brandy and Grand Marnier on medium speed about a minute. Add the sugar and sour cream. Beat until soft peaks form. Do not overbeat or the mixture will become grainy.
The combination above will serve 6 to 8. The lemon sauce should be warm and the cream ice cold. Enjoy.
Boehner Weeps Over Tax Increase![News-Cartoon-1471285[1]](https://emeraldlakesfreepress.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/news-cartoon-147128511.jpg)
WASHINGTON, District of Columbia (FNS) Newly re-elected House Speaker John Boehner was visibly shaken as he announced the expiration of Bush-era tax reductions on individuals earning $250,000 or more or families with incomes exceeding $450,000. His body racked with sobs, the speaker lamented the hardships and job losses that would follow. “Many of these people will have to learn to cook their own food, raise their children themselves and in some extreme cases (gasp) even mow their own grass. And remember, some of these folks have huge lawns,” the anguished congressman cried. Boehner further pointed out that, “job losses among household staff, gardeners and nannies could be staggering. I don’t think the Democrats realize what they hath wrought.” Minority leader Nancy Pelosi was unavailable for comment.
Bloomberg Announces Subway Success
NEW YORK, New York (FNS) A clearly delighted Mayor Michael Bloomberg announced today that not one person has been pushed to their death in front of an oncoming subway train in two entire days. “We are making unmistakable progress in cutting down on these unnecessary tragedies. Pushing someone into the path of an oncoming train is just plain wrong. I think New Yorkers are beginning to get that message.” According to the mayor, more measures are necessary. “I still like my idea of putting air bags on the front of these trains. Hey, it works with cars, doesn’t it? Even if it does reduce the motorman’s field of vision, it should reduce injuries. I know that given the choice, I’d rather be hit with a big old bag of air than the front of a subway car. Who wouldn’t?”
Kardashian Pix Bidding Tops $100,000,000
LOS ANGELES, California (FNS) Furious bidding on the moment-of-birth pictures by the expectant Kim Kardashian has the current high bid at $110,000,000. At press time the high bidder was US Weekly, but that may change many times in the coming weeks and months. Some experts say the bidding war could top one billion dollars. According to People Magazine publicist Fannie Packe, no amount would be too much to pay. “This is big, really big. These pictures are more important than the moon landing shots. They may even be bigger than Kim Kardashian’s First Wedding Pictures,” she said, speaking breathlessly in capitalized words. There was one cautionary note, however. Late Night host David Letterman warned, “I hope the press doesn’t make too big a thing of this.” We’ll just have to wait and see.
Cubans Celebrate Revolution Anniversary
HAVANA, Cuba (FNS) Joyful Cubans turned out in the hundreds to celebrate the 54th anniversary of the People’s Republic of Cuba. It was Cuban rum and Cuban cigars all around as the Central Committee feted aging semi-retired El Presidente-for-Life Fidel Castro at a private party held in the kitchen of the Presidential Palace and Souvenir Bodega. Excited representatives of the Young Cubans for the Worship and Adoration of El Presidente presented the man himself with lavish gifts including a full color Emerson console television with shiny oversized horizontal and vertical control knobs and two tires, both with some tread, for the president’s 1959 Chevrolet. The grateful Castro farted with joy at the surprise presentation.
![new-years-resolutions[1]](https://emeraldlakesfreepress.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/new-years-resolutions1.jpg?w=604)
A recent survey revealed that only 8% of respondents report keeping a New Year’s resolution. Since this number is based on self-report you can bet the success rate is even less. Why is this? It’s simple: people make crappy resolutions, ones that are near impossible to keep. They’re doomed from the start. So, here’s our solution. Try one or more of these resolutions. Hell, try ‘em all. We bet you can keep them if you put your mind to it.
Ten Resolutions You Can Realistically Expect to Keep:
I resolve
1. To gain weight
2. To take up or increase smoking
3. To go deeper into debt
4. To be more judgmental of people around me
5. To avoid exercise
6. To eat more salty, fatty foods
7. To drink more
8. To ignore ‘Friend’ requests
9. To settle scores and take revenge – to forgive no one
10. To unhesitatingly tell my friends what they must do to improve themselves
11. To break wind with total abandon
Yum….said no one ever
There are lots of wonderful things about Christmas – parties, family gatherings, decorations, carols, movies, presents, and more – but there are also at least
10 Things I Don’t Like About Christmas
1. Fruitcake
2. Annual Letter Updates that come with Christmas cards
3. Receiving a re-gift
4. Aunt Rose’s soggy string bean casserole
5. Uncle Charlie’s same old corny jokes
6. Shopping mobs
7. Icicle lights going out after you put the ladder away
8. Ugly sweaters
9. Drunken houseguests
10. Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye in “White Christmas” (Yeah, I know a lot of you actually like this terribly corny movie. Watch it again.)
Maybe you’d like to share your Christmas dislikes. We’d love your comments.
Dec 24
This gallery contains 14 photos.
Well, we appreciate the overwhelming response. Zero entries. But we didn’t let that stop us. Nor did we let the snow on Thursday that made the roads icy stop us. So here is the winner: While we don’t have a prize for outstanding neighborhood or section, if we did it would have to go to the Blueberry […]
Dec 22
This gallery contains 4 photos.
Are you naughty or nice? Cause the big guy is hanging around today. He brought the wife and enjoyed watching “Help Santa Save Christmas”, a play put on by children from the community. Congratulations to Heather, Ryan and resident Melanie Balzano for bringing together this festive day.
A topnotch WordPress.com site
thoughts on education by Grant Wiggins
"Because you CAN handle the truth."
by Ken Previti
A child is like a butterfly in the wind. Some can fly higher than others, but each one flies the best it can. Why compare one against the other? Each one is different. Each one is special. Each one is beautiful.
Emerald Lakes Free Press 