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Meet the Candidates – Important Notice

speech1[1]Emerald Lakes will be holding its annual Meet the Candidates on Saturday, August 3rd, 2013 at 9:30 am in the Community Center.  Some notices, and emails mistakenly reported that it will begin at 9:oo.  This meeting is your chance to hear what the candidates have to say about our community and what they want to do if elected.
The Board is still discussing the format of this meeting, trying to decide if members will have a chance to ask questions of the candidates directly or if the questions will only come from the elections committee.

Ten Phrases That Are Worse Than Useless

keep-calm-and-relax-366_large[1]

     Studies have shown that the below-listed phrases rarely, if ever, have the desired effect and, in fact, often exacerbate an already tense situation. See if your own experience does not agree.

1. Calm down.

2. Take it easy.

3. Don’t worry.

4. Just forget about it.

5. Take a deep breath.

6. Watch your mouth.

7. Shut up.

8. Don’t get your bowels in an uproar.

9. Let it go.

10. Grow up.

11. Settle Down

12. Get a grip.

     Here’s an experiment for you to try. The next time someone seems to be inappropriately agitated in your presence ask them to settle down. Did it work? The next time someone uses foul language in an angry rant, tell them, “Watch your mouth.” Will they stop cursing or curse more? According to surveys, each of the above-listed phrases actually have the opposite of the intended effect and cause people to do more of what you’re demanding or suggesting they do less of. And the next time a friend is in distress and obvious apprehension tell them, “Don’t worry.” Yeah, that should do the trick.

June 22, 2013 Board of Directors Monthly Open Meeting

by Buz Whelan

After the usual pledge to the flag and acceptance of the previous meeting’s minutes (with the standard minor corrections) President Al Leslie gave his message. Prefacing his remarks with the call for a short meeting due to a scheduled party and his not feeling well, he admonished the community in general to eschew rumor-mongering and instead go directly to the source of the concern. He pointed out that the GM is readily available as are the various directors.

During an unusually brief Treasurer’s Report, Earl Frank pointed to an article in the Pocono Record that indicated approximately 66% of Pocono Mountain West High School students were receiving some form of public assistance. This would have some explanatory value, he said, in understanding why delinquencies are running so high.

General Manager Allen Roth informed the room that the deadline for the special July edition of the Emerald News is Tuesday, June 25th. This issue will have the candidate bios and campaign statements.

Deadlines come and go, and bog removal in East and West Emerald Lakes is a sure example of that. This issue has been tossed around for at least two years, maybe more, and today GM Roth informed us that the June 20th date for work initiation had been missed. Contacting Joe Gallagher of Ecological Solutions, the firm hired to do the removal, he was informed that it was preferable to wait until the bogs rose to the surface of the lake, since their appearance would ease removal. Last year the bogs appeared early, in late June, due to an unusually mild spring and early summer. But in 2011, a more typical year weatherwise, the bogs did not appear in East Emerald Lake until the third week in July and West Emerald Lake in early August. Adding to the confusion was the memory of some members that last year we were told that it was easier to remove the bogs before they surfaced.

The GM also reported that with the beaches open the hot dog wagon would be making appearances and the Snack Shack at the outdoor pool is open.

During Committee Reports, the recommended changes to the collection procedures were discussed, and a recommendation that the board begin preparing for a Special Meeting in late October or early November was made. The purpose of the meeting would be to ask for a dues increase. The manager’s recommendation of a three-year program with increases of $60, $50 & $40 respectively was noted in the recommendation.

Under Old Business the board approved a resolution for payment of the repairs to the outdoor pool, in the amount of $13,700. The 2012/2014 budget, recently passed, contains a line item of $20,000 for outdoor pool repair. This was an estimate, since the precise scope of work could not be known until the repairs were well underway. The board also passed a resolution accepting the Finance and Planning Committee’s recommended changes to the collection procedure. When a delinquency first occurs, a 10% penalty will be attached and the entire amount of the Annual Dues remaining shall immediately become due.

Under New Business, the board approved the selection of Mark Davis as chairperson of the newly re-formed Real Estate Committee. The chair had been elected at the committee’s first meeting and he reported that the committee is made up of short and long term landlords, renters and non-leasing homeowners.

The board accepted the ad hoc Committee to Revise the Bylaws’ recommendations for changes to be put to a vote at the Annual Meeting in August. Among those that bring the document into congruence with already existing practice are recommendations to require a complete audit every year (as opposed to current bylaw for every fifth year), to extend appeal and payment deadlines for citations from 10 to 30 days and to eliminate from the bylaws reference to the moribund Campground Committee. The committee also recommended formalizing the process for replacing a mid-year board vacancy by going to the next highest vote getter at the previous Annual Meeting, then going to the next highest after that if the first next (is this getting confusing?) is unavailable. When all losing candidates have been exhausted, or if there weren’t any, the board may choose a replacement who would serve until the next Annual Meeting when a vote could be held to fill out the term, or select another director if the term is expiring.

During a discussion of roadside mowing, it was reported that the mower was expected to be repaired by early next week and mowing would then continue. The board also directed the GM to research the cost of a new mower, including choices of manufacturer, models and vendors. Should a new mower be purchased, the current one would become a backup.

During Public Comments Paul Capozzoli suggested sealing cracks in our roadways. He said that his research shows that we can significantly extend the life of any given road segment by doing this. He reported that he had spoken with individuals involved in county road maintenance and this is something that they do and recommend.

Pat Galderisi brought up the problem of chickens running loose in sections of the Estates. Of course, our Declarations forbid the keeping of livestock. Phyllis Shedlock said that she had observed chickens on Sage Road. After much joking about chickens crossing the road and so on, it was agreed that the GM would have the Code Enforcement Officer Ralph Musto investigate.

Progress on Cabaret ’35, to be held August 10 was also reported. It was underscored that this is to be a total night club experience not just another singing performance. Audience members are encouraged to come in period dress (‘20s & ‘30s) and prizes will be given. Tickets ($10 advance, $12at the door) are currently being sold at the Community Center.

 

 

Terror Plot Thwarted

!tp_prank_09[1]     CHICAGO, Illinois (FNS) A plot to cause mayhem at Chicago’s Taul Towers has been foiled in a joint operation by the CIA, NSA and FBI along with local Chicago police. The buildings, named after the Bigg & Taul haberdashery empire, were to be egged by terrorists flying in one man ultralight aircraft, too small to show up on radar. Behind the disgusting and dastardly plot were Jordanian immigrant Ligma Jentuls, Chechnyan Pulya Pansdown and Ivana Eecha, reported to be Pansdown’s girlfriend.

In a connected action suspected terrorists Ahbin Pharteen of Yemen, Chet Mapantz, an American convert to Islam, and Indonesian extremist Lee Kee Anoos were arrested when their plan to tee pee all the cherry trees on the Washington Mall was sniffed out by the highly-respected anti-terrorist Special Agent Al Keiter of the FBI. Agents are after Lou Stoole who apparently left tracks when he fled and is expected to be apprehended soon.

If you have any info on the whereabouts of the above or known affiliates Soon Al Dooya, Juwana Phoogmi, Khana Cuminya or Rubma Baltz contact the anti-terrorist hot line at 1-800-BIG-TIPS. All calls will be handled confidentially by Special Agent Mike Hunt. Please do not tie up line with trivial calls. Mike Hunt only wants big tips.

Lake Shark Menace Resurfaces

Watch out for the Lake Shark!

Watch out for the Lake Shark!

EMERALD LAKES, Pennsylvania (FNS) In what is becoming an annual ritual, the Pennsylvania Department of Fish and Chips issued a reminder that the danger of lake sharks lurks just beneath the surface of seemingly tranquil lakes. Four of the five Emerald Lakes are in that category. Only Deer Lake has been declared shark free. Spokesperson Claire de Aire warned that, “People shouldn’t treat this as a joke. Lives can be lost that way. These fish are as real as angels, and you better have an angel guarding you if you venture into the water alone.” According to fish specialist Dr. Flo N. Rivers, some are in more danger than others. “Most full-time residents of Pennsylvania are safe. They have a natural shark repellant that they acquire from drinking water daily that comes from the local aquifer. It’s part-timers and visitors that face the greatest danger. They don’t have that natural protection and the sharks can smell them.” An adult shark of the genus Pennsylvanus lochus Rhincodon averages about 4 feet in length but can grow larger. The record is 8 feet taken from Lake Wallenpaupak in 1993. The local record was set last year when fisherman Henry William took a six-footer out of East Emerald Lake. They are most active during the day, especially on weekends. One thing to remember is that when swimming just beneath the surface, the shark’s body creates a smoothing effect on the water. Warns lifeguard Ike N. Saivem, “When the water is calm and smooth, that’s time to watch out. It’s probably a shark getting ready to strike.”

Your Nearly News Horoscope

Zodiac[1]Gemini (May 21-June 20) Something unexpected will happen just when you least expect it. Be prepared.

Cancer (June 21-July22) Be cautious in financial dealings.

Leo (July 23-August 22) You will find yourself among strangers. Act normal.

Virgo (August 23-September 22) This is a time of confusion in your life. Try and figure out why.

Libra (September 23-October 22) You will encounter a negative person. Be negative in return, but in a positive way.

Scorpio (October 23-November 21) Danger lurks in automobiles. Avoid cars for next 3 months.

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21) You know what you did and you’re likely to get caught. Deception is your best option.

Capricorn (December 22-January 19) You are a superstitious person. Avoid objects that may be cursed.

Aquarius (January 20-February 18) Beware of advice freely given. Mistrust everyone.

Pisces (February 19-March 20) You are a lazy person who spends way too much time looking for easy answers. Get a grip. Stop wasting time reading newspaper mumbo jumbo.

Aries (March 21-April 19) Don’t waste everybody’s time chasing unrealistic dreams. You cannot be anything you want. Get real. Stop bothering people.

Taurus (April 20-May 20) You are gullible and unimaginative, the kind of person who thinks they can get wisdom and prescience from a horoscope. Seek help forthwith.

Most Annoying Named

English: Henry Winkler at a ceremony for Adam ...

English: Henry Winkler at a ceremony for Adam Sandler to receive a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

CENTER CITY, Kansas (FNS) A new list of the Most Annoying People of 2013 saw some major changes in the list and a first with three individuals tied for first place. Fred Thompson, Henry Winkler and Robert Wagner were tagged numbers one presumably for their appearances in those ubiquitous reverse mortgage ads that play in almost every break on cable news and late night programs. Apparently the trio of B-listers have squandered what meager credibility they had by hawking the questionable loan schemes to elderly pigeons eager to cheat their heirs out of any equity value that may be in their homes. The three aging hucksters edged out such perennial annoyers as Kim Kardashian and Donald Trump. The complete list:

1. (tie) Fred Thompson, Robert Wagner, Henry Winkler

2. Kim Kardashian

3. Rush Limbaugh

4. Donald Trump

5. The Sham-wow Guy

6. Anyone on QVC

7. Willard Scott

8. Sarah Palin

9. Rex Ryan

10. Al Sharpton

Other than the three numbers one, the only newcomer to the list was blowhard New York Jets coach Rex Ryan, who promises his team’s fans a Super Bowl appearance year after year. Left off this year’s list was perennial annoyer Adam Sandler and the can’t-get-out-of-her-own-way queen Lindsey Lohan.

Back to reverse mortgages: the loans themselves, often formally referred to as Home Equity Conversion Loans, are rated just below chain letters, for their honesty content. A recent survey by the watchdog group Citizens Resolutely Against Perfidy (CRAP) found that 72% of those surveyed thought reverse mortgages were a scam. Overall, reverse mortgages were viewed slightly less favorably than pyramid schemes. CRAP spokesperson Heidi Hoe declared, “These people (reverse mortgage sellers) thought they could slide by with this stuff. They didn’t think we were watching. But they don’t know CRAP. We’re everywhere.”

Boehner Weeps Over Recovering Economy

Official portrait of United States House Speak...

Official portrait of United States House Speaker (R-Ohio). (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

     WASHINGTON, District of Columbia (FNS) House of Representatives Speaker John Boehner wept openly following a press conference called by House Democrats to draw attention to the U.S. improving economic outlook. “I can’t stand it,” the speaker was overheard saying to associates, “We were so close. Everything was crappola, perfect for us. And that damn asshole Romney blew it. What are we going to do now? The Dow is at an all-time high. Consumer confidence is up. Unemployment is dropping like a rock. If this keeps up there’ll be no bad news to run on. Talk about bad luck.”

     Spotting the reporters nearby, Boehner press aide Mike Rafone excitedly explained that what the speaker meant was that the economy only looks good. There is danger lurking in the numbers. “People see these numbers and they begin to believe Obama knows what he’s doing. They start to think his policies are working. Next thing they’ll want to raise taxes. “Raise taxes on the rey-ich. Raise taxes on the rey-ich.” They sound like Gomer hollering at Barney. “Citizen arrey-est. Citizens arrey-est.”

     According to RNC Chairperson Dunce Primus, “We need distraction. We can’t let Americans focus on the economy and employment. We need investigations and hearings, things like that. Drag out the Benghazi thing. Blow up the IRS focus on Tea Party groups. The main thing is to make Obama look bad and make Hillary unelectable for 2016. If we can’t get the economy to tank, this stuff is next best.

     Returning to Boehner, the speaker lamented, “We’re the party of God. We’re the Christian right, for God’s sake. We’re a prayerful group and I pray for a downturn nightly, that we Republicans might prevail in the mid-term elections. But day after day we get more and more good economic news. Sometimes I wonder just whose side God is on.”

May 18, 2013 Monthly Board of Directors Open Meeting

by Buz Whelan

News-Cartoon-1471285[1]After the traditional call to order, pledge of allegiance and acceptance of the previous month’s minutes, President Alex Leslie gave his President’s Report. Mr. Leslie thanked Director Margaret Fitzgerald and all who assisted her for the organization of the Relay for Life, to be held that evening and night, and for meeting the fund raising goal of $3,500. Mr. Leslie also announced that the board was adopting a new and revised collection procedure, prepared with the cooperation of the association attorney. The essentials of the procedure provide for a series of notices and deadlines, with a penalty fee of 2.5% of the money owed initially charged at the time of 10 days delinquency. A series of steps that include notices that all fees assessed by the association attorney will be added to the monies owed. At the 90 day mark (of delinquency) the attorney will take charge of the account and all further communications shall be between him and the delinquent member. At the 105 day mark a Notice of Claim of Lien will be recorded and the member notified. Should the delinquency continue, all legal remedies, including the filing of suit will proceed according to the best interests of the association as determined by the attorney in consultation with the association general manager. This procedure was formally adopted by resolution passed under New Business.

Treasurer Earl Frank reported that $1.394M in dues has been collected for fiscal year 2012/2013, now closed out. This is down from $1.440M collected for fiscal 2011/2012. While Mr. Frank reported that we are under budget in spending in all departments except the Emerald Bar & Grill, the growing delinquency rate is our most serious financial problem. He expressed some hope that the new, more aggressive collection policy would stem this trend. Member Pat Galderisi and Director Joe Miller both stated that the association should be going after bank owners who have seized ownership through foreclosure. They should be required to pay dues and maintain their properties according to the same standards to which individual homeowners are held. Failure to do so should result in citations.

Following the Treasurer’s Report the manager reported that all dams have been inspected, with reports to follow. Permits have been received for bog removal in East and West Emerald Lakes, though no schedule for the actual work is currently available.

During the Committee Chair Reports section of the meeting, Finance and Planning Chairperson David Pope reported that his committee is working toward a recommendation for increased revenue to be presented at the Annual Meeting. Several levels and types of increases are being examined, from a simple set increase in dues to several types of multi-year escalators. These will be hashed out at a special F&P meeting to be held the week of May 19-25 at a time TBD.

Director Carmen Broadnax reported that the Nominating Committee is currently emailing invitations to run for the board to all committee members and that notices will be on the website and in the next edition of the Emerald News. Several members present reported that they had received the email solicitations.

Appeals Committee Chairperson Paul Capozzoli reported that two appeals had been postponed until next month.

Author of this story Buz Whelan, reporting as a “committee of one” told the assembly that the May 4th Comedy Night earned over $1,100 in ticket sales and did more than $1,000 in food and beverage business.

ELDAS liaison, Buz Whelan reported several recommendations from the society to the board. Among these was a suggestion that the Communication Committee assign someone to take pictures of all committees, publish them in the paper, on the website and in an Annual Meeting program. It was also suggested that the recognition plaques for past presidents and volunteers of the year be moved from the admin bldg to the Community Center where they would be more visible to members. Another suggestion was to obtain an estimate for the cost of updating all ID badges. During this process, census data could be taken since all members would have to participate in the updating. The ELDAS members are also willing to volunteer to serve as liaisons, freeing up directors who often must serve as liaisons to multiple committees. And lastly the society recommends that planning begin for a series of events to be held during our upcoming 40th anniversary year.

Under New Business, Secretary Carmen Broadnax read a resolution to approve the purchase of a new public safety vehicle. The motion included make and model, amount of purchase, and selected bidder. It was for a Ford Explorer, and Ray Price Ford, the middle bidder in terms of amount, was named as the seller. It was explained that the vehicle being replaced was also a Ford Explorer and that Price Ford was the closest bidder, a supposed advantage for service needs. At this point Director Joe Miller objected. He reasoned that a Ford Escape could perform public safety tasks equally well, would get better gas mileage and would cost in the neighborhood of $5,000 less. He further reminded the room that a vehicle can be serviced, including warranty work, at any same brand dealership, regardless of purchase location. Gallery member David Pope echoed Miller’s opinion, as did numerous directors and members who followed. The matter was finally removed from the table for future consideration and discussion.

Resolutions to adopt a new committee procedures manual and new collection procedure, previously cited, were passed.

Director Miller then went off the agenda to bring up outdoor pool maintenance for discussion. Miller’s point was that the work had not been approved by board motion nor had the work been put out for bid. He objected to the GM’s selection of a vendor to begin the work, currently under way, without these elements. He asked Mr. Roth for the expected cost of the work, which was not immediately available (the 2013/2014 budget lists estimated cost at $20,000).

During Public Comments, several members (whose names we are withholding) complained that a home on Doe Drive is unsightly, with much debris, junk and bags of garbage strewn about. They also state that there is constant traffic in and out of the home with short term visits occurring at all hours. The CEO will check for the unsightly premises, but it was recommended that regional police be contacted regarding the frequent short visits.

Several residents of Seneca Court, formerly North Glade Court, complained that their road is virtually impassible, with mud pits and ruts and a complete lack of gravel. The GM will look into possible relief.

Director Margaret Fitzgerald ignited a furious exchange over the early closing of the Emerald Bar and Grill on Friday, May 17th. Apparently a large contingent of folks who had attended the bonfire on Pine Tree Beach decided to top off the evening with a drink or two at the bar. Arriving at about 9:15 they were told the bar was shortly closing and they could order a single drink. Various reasons were given including slow business and possible intoxication of patrons. After much ado, protestations and a visit by the board president, they were escorted out by public safety before 10 pm. President Leslie took full responsibility, promised published hours would be adhered to in the future and agreed that it was important to do so.

Heidi Castro of Cedar Drive reported a creeping wetland in her backyard, fearing it could reach the house. She has contacted the Army Corps of Engineers and was told it was a local matter. GM Allen Roth will look into it.

Finally, there was a comment about the failure of many homeowners to post the new address signs required by the county. The problem as stated was that even if a particular homeowner is in compliance, failure by his neighbors could slow emergency vehicles as the approach that location without progressive signage. It was suggested that Rules and Regulations ‘address’ the address problem.

Comedy Night at the Emerald Grill

Lola Lauri

We went to the Community Center on Saturday to see Comedy Night 4, hosted by our own Buz Whelan and featuring

Comedy Night Host, Buz Whelan

Comedy Night Host, Buz Whelan

comedians Jeffrey Paul, Tommy Gooch and Johnny Watson.  The doors opened at 7 and ELA residents and friends quickly filled the room, anticipating an evening of fun.

Host Buz Whelan started things off, giving the audience a chance to decide on which of three levels of comedy they wanted from mild to hot. Not surprisingly, the vote for hot was near unanimous. After making a generous offer to test any suspected drugs for parents and doing about 10 minutes of material to get the audience warmed up and laughing he introduced his first comic, a surprise addition to the night’s lineup.

Jeffrey Paul

Jeffrey Paul

The bonus act was former cop and high school social studies teacher, Jeffrey Paul, a relative newcomer to the NYC comedy circuit.  He left his teaching job in Staten Island to hit the stage in Manhattan where he swiftly made a name for himself in many of the city’s most renowned venues, including Stand-Up NY and the New York Comedy Club. His delivery and life stories got the crowd started quickly, and we all roared when he described his son’s reaction to his philosophical questions. Jeffrey Paul was a wonderful surprise addition to this evening’s line-up, and we look forward to hearing more from this rising star.

Melanie and Mario Balzano

Melanie and Mario Balzano

Next up was our old friend Tommy Gooch, who has graced our stage before.  This comedy veteran’s talent for playing with the

Tommy Gooch

Tommy Gooch

audience led us to some really hilarious moments.  Warning – don’t ever let Tommy catch you texting at his show; you may as well paint a target on your forehead.  And when our server scurried across the front of the stage to retrieve some empty glasses, he pulled her right up in front of us all and made her part of the act. The Gooch is a very busy comedian, with dates all over the Northeast in the coming months, and Emerald Lakes is very lucky to have him return year after year, and we certainly hope to see him again next year.

The headline act of Comedy Night 4 was Johnny Watson.  You may have seen Johnny on Saturday Night Live, David Letterman, or Comedy Central. Johnny describes himself as what it would look like if Clay Aiken

Johnny Watson

Johnny Watson

banged Jon Bon Jovi and, from the laughter, it was clear the audience agreed.  In between dispensing advice about selecting a wife and reminiscing about candy cigarettes, Johnny had a turn at the audience too, finding ways to poke fun at the audience members and keep us all laughing.  Check out Johnny’s radio comedy show, Watson N Watson, in which he battles with his mother on all sorts of topics.

Buz Whelan, “it’s okay to like me now, I am not on the board anymore.” And he asked if we thought this

Cindy Delaney and Robert Lauri

Cindy Delaney and Robert Lauri

was more fun than an annual meeting.  It certainly was, and I think there were more people there than at some of our annual meetings, too.  Thanks to Buz for all he did to organize and bring this event to our community; I look forward to next year.

 

Daddy/Daughter fun with the Kavanaghs

Daddy/Daughter fun with the Kavanaghs

Robert Lauri and John Delaney

Robert Lauri and John Delaney

Reform PA Charter Schools

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thoughts on education by Grant Wiggins

With A Brooklyn Accent

"Because you CAN handle the truth."

Reclaim Reform

by Ken Previti

Americas Education Watch

A child is like a butterfly in the wind. Some can fly higher than others, but each one flies the best it can. Why compare one against the other? Each one is different. Each one is special. Each one is beautiful.